Video: Funny DIY Plumbing Gets Plumb Punny Out Of Hand For Retro Marketing

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A TALE OF D.I.Y. PLUMBING GONE... WHOA THERE DUDE!

So, I know very little about plumbing or what actual plumbers do. As a marketing extrovert, I should not admit this, since we're supposed to know everything about which we advertise.*

Now this admission will probably get me fired, but in losing my job STANDING UP for ignorance, I'm at the very least, a loser.

Just a second...

For some reason, my superior ethics seem to be shrouded in a cloud of idiocy at this point. So I will take back the 'loser' portion of my statement, and then we should all feel better about me.

I ask the plumbers in the audience to work with me on this...

Of course, as I've already made you aware in the first paragraph, you don't ACTUALLY want to work with me on anything plumbing related. That was just a figure of speech and the previous paragraph a projector of beseech.

The point I wanted to get to is that I am actually the person you want speaking for you. Why? Simply, because you paid me to speak to your plumbing group!

You didn't pay me? So why am I here?

As I remember now, after my senior movement, and reviewing my daily constitution, it's because I am the perfect DIY foil! Ta da! That's it. See what I mean?

You still don't. Hmm?

Well, besides being a deep hole in the ground**, all you have to do is imagine some of my actual feats as a weekend warrior plumber poet and you can see why I don't know it.

And more importantly, not a one will ever take up a plunger again after seeing the 'eck!' on my face when I'm done.

Realizing that I am the best example of a hard case nut of plumbing DIY gone far awry, I need plumbers like you to agree that I, as the marketing extrovert, know how best to put your plumbing (heating & A/C) business front of the public eye. Yet what I recommend may be retro to some I can't deny.

So here I go, know lye?

Yes, social media works. That's why we/I use it!

But imagine doing plumbing over the internet, only in virtual control of the warrior plumber poet pilot of his own swirling porcelain shipt wreck and WTHeck? Trying to coax someone like me, with a water table imbalance, to help him correct the situation he's plunged into. Watching in horror story Scream 5 slow schmo fashion the destruction of his castle in a simulated DIY movie meant pun production.

Seeing this DIY warrior putting his family in this precarious position, but you the expert plumber, only being able to shout...

Danger Swiss Family Robinson! DANGER!

To sea the red in my face, as it washes our lives a wave of despair and the smell of the fruits of my looms and perfumes in the air. Then the waters rise high to finally run down the stairs, and out the door with box of rocks here, and the three women's glares.

This commentary may sound overly dramatic, but it's actually even more traumatic. So please listen to me, about how you need to get REAL about helping DIY warriors like me avoid doing the time in the doghouse where she will confine.

Use Personalized Postcards from CopiesAndPrint.com to Supplement your online marketing. Postcards will touch the hands and grab the attention of your neighbors.

Postcards will point consumers to your socialized media first, BEFORE the competition, and BEFORE weekend warriors like myself turn into sewer rabid zombies shunned by their families. OMG... the Inanity!

Don't let the enthusiasm of online marketing overwhelm your sense of the senses. Reaching out so your neighbors can actually touch your marketing is still very vital to the human experience.

And remember the postal service is probably the only source who can stop DIYs like me from heading up a Viking ship creaking without oars, and keeping me off a river of stupid plumbing mistakes where USPS would, with your Personalized Postcard, avoid my send off to deliverance, and a Ned Beatty tributary utterance.

Act NOW or forever witness in horror what the DIY plumber warrior will wrought!

Call 800-517-5563 or email service@CopiesAndPrint.com

 

Written by...

Richard The Chwalek

-- Enjoy the Movie too. No not the river gone wild pun, the attached one!

*I actually have known everything about everything else besides plumbing. It's just I've forgotten most of it, now that I'm Mr. Half Century, as my daughter says. Also having teenagers, it's amazing how dumb I've become.

I thought I was maturing, but now I am out of touch, not hip and can't be seen by their friends because of the clothes I wear or lack of (especially when shirtless & hairy chicken legs are in a state of undress).

**Many of these plumbing type jokes can be used copyright free as long as you reference my contribution to the downfall of humor in this country.

Turn On Hot New Customer Valve • • Personalized Postcards, Setting the Climate For A Sales Boost!

+Fix Our Noisy Thermostat Schtick Stuck Pun Stuff

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